THE CULTURE OF BRAGGING IN AMERICA

After living in Europe for a couple of years I moved to San Francisco pursuing professional growth in Silicon Valley. One of the things that shocked me the most living in America was how much they brag about money and about things they do not even have…

America is a place I describe as a nouveau riche country. The term is coming form the french language and it is used to describe a person who previously had belonged to a lower social class and economic status, but obtained new money in a short period of time.

This money constitutes their wealth, allowing upward social mobility and providing the means for conspicuous consumption. It describes ostentation, bad taste, tackiness and sometimes vulgarity. There is a constant need to be flashy as a sign of affirmation that visibly shows insecurity.

When I came to San Francisco, I was excited to be in one of the most innovative places on earth, and I was so curious about the people living in this area of the world. Before living in America I lived in Europe a couple of years and I thought the so called “first world” was similar. Let me explain you this: when you are coming from South America and you look to the north, you think Europe and America are similar and share the same values, naive right?

Europeans travel a lot, they have at least 21 working days of paid vacation, and they always take it. Americans have 10 days in total per year! That’s why you see them traveling in Europe spending 1 or 2 days max in any European city where they go to try different restaurants because they dislike history and museums. The aim is to come back home and brag about the high bills paid in restaurants…(poor thing haha)

Why do they behave like that? Let’s analyze some aspects:

1.History of money in America: Comparing to other countries, America is a very new country that became rich in only 150 years. At the time of slavery, white people had free labor for almost a century and this shaped the huge disparity and inequality in the society until today. In modern times many billionaires became wealthy from one day to another as a result of investments in industries that had a super fast growth in relatively short time.

2. Lack of culture: America does not have one homogenous culture. When we think about american culture we come to the conclusion that there is not anything that can define one common idea of nation. America is a county of immigrants that have brought their traditions that passed through generations and were adapted and adopted to the reality in the new territory.

For example, in many cities across the United States, you can discover a rich variety of cuisines, that are a testament to how America is a nation formed by imigrants. But what's truly fascinating, is that every dish has its roots in different parts of the world. Even the distinctive flavors of regions like the American Midwest and the Southern states can trace their origins back to Africa or Ireland.

3. Lack of identity: Because of the lack of culture, there is a lack of identity that is very serious. I would like to share something that happened to me with a guy from L.A. We met in an event in San Francisco, I asked him where he was from and he said Italian American.

I lived in Italy for a while, so I asked “where in Italy, tell me about it”, he said “from the south” and i asked “Whats your surname” he said: “Rodriguez"… I said “but that's very Spanish” he said “that’s because my Italian roots are from my mom's side” so I asked “Whats you mom’s surname?” he said “Sanchez” I said “that’s also Spanish” he said “no, it’s Italian” I said: “no no, I am sure it is Spanish, I lived and traveled around Italy specially the south” he said: “fine, i am Mexican but I don’t like to say it. You should not say you are Colombian either, you could say you are a mixed Asian, in America we think Asians are very smart” and I said: “What? I love being Colombian, I am so proud of it, what is wrong with you!”…

In a country where a singular, cohesive cultural identity can be hard to pin down, is there something that can serve as a unifying force for identity?

Yes, and the answer is money.

Wealth has played a pivotal role in the formation of America's identity. It filled a significant void, giving rise to a collective vision in the minds of Americans that wealth would become a cultural source of pride and a sought-after goal for immigrants pursuing the “American Dream".

This shift in perception is evident in the early 20th century when the nation saw the construction and promotion of massive skyscrapers, lavish resorts, sprawling sports stadiums, and captivating amusement parks. These endeavors were designed to instill a sense of pride in Americans and foster a newfound identity closely intertwined with notions of affluence and prosperity.

4. Isolation from the World: The United States, being the fourth largest country globally and strategically positioned with access to both the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, presents a unique geographical advantage. In fact, it's only about 20% smaller than the entire continent of Europe. Much like the diverse nations within Europe, states across America exhibit striking regional differences.

This vastness makes it feasible to delve deeply into the intricacies of American history, often at the expense of learning about other countries. This phenomenon reflects a certain self-centeredness among Americans, where there's a perception that they have it all and little need to draw lessons from the rest of the world.

For instance, I recall my aunt's marriage to an American man, which led to our family summer trips to the United States.

During these visits, my mom frequently found herself in heated debates with our American relatives. They contended that there was little reason to visit France because they had their own version of the Eiffel Tower in Vegas, their own Chinatowns emulating China, their New Orleans offering a taste of France, and even their Japanese sea gardens replicating Japan, among other examples.

This sentiment highlights a uniquely American perspective on self-sufficiency and a tendency to recreate aspects of the world within their borders.

5. Ignorance: It might come as a surprise to hear about the encounters I've had with highly educated individuals in Silicon Valley, many of whom hailed from prestigious universities.

I was genuinely taken aback, as I had assumed that the caliber of one's university education would be directly proportional to their cultural knowledge and awareness. However, it's crucial to understand a fundamental aspect of American pragmatism, the notion that they primarily pursue knowledge that translates into financial gains.

They find literature and philosophy the most useless thing to learn. Instead, they love reading about investment, real state, crypto, etc. (at least in this part of the country).

I met a guy that his dream was being a doctor, but he chose engineering instead when he sat down and did some math and realize how much money he could make in tech. Listening to this, for the first time in my life, made me realize how much in a bubble I was working in the non profit world.

The best date I had in San Francisco was with a french guy where I had the most interesting and fulfilling conversation in 4 years living in California. He was working in robotics for a company somewhere in Silicon Valley, but we spoke french about art, literature, philosophy, history, economics, cultures and traveling. 

Hey folks, when I think of that dinner date, I still smile. I remember that day I thought to myself how different the cultural level of a European was. For your curiosity, we had only one date… he was contaminated with the Bay Area mentality and he believed in open relationships… He had an asian girl that his “primary” partner… turn off big time…

I was once asked by a Stanford graduate whether we spoke "Colombian" in Colombia. I also had a classmate from Berkeley who confidently asserted that the Roman Coliseum was situated in Barcelona… I believe it is not their fault, is about the American education system… Saying something like that anywhere else is extremely ignorant, but in America is not a big deal…

6. Lack of values: Unfortunately America changed a lot in the last 50 years. There are still some values left in the countryside the Southern States and the Midwest, but in big cities I notice people have no values structure.

One illustrative example is the concept of honesty. In the United States, there exists a somewhat different perspective where concealing the truth is not necessarily deemed negative, and lying is often perceived as a relatively minor transgression, specially when it is related to job…

I used to attend numerous meetups in San Francisco, where I encountered familiar faces at various gatherings. What struck me was how these individuals would present entirely different narratives about their workplaces at different events, all without a hint of remorse or concern about potentially being exposed.

In Silicon Valley, some career coaches advise job seekers to lie about their resumes, suggesting that it's the only way to secure employment. You might be thinking I am being exaggerated, but unfortunately no, they call it: "reframe” and this happened to me with a career coach that show his concern learning I had no tech experience and my work experience was outside America.

This stark contrast to Europe, where a single lie can shatter trust completely, reflects a survival mentality ingrained in American society. Through my experiences, I've come to a realization: when conversing with Americans, especially those in major cities, it's prudent to take about 20% of what they say at face value. Trust me, you'll appreciate this caution later on.

7. Love for Money: The American fascination with money runs so deep that it permeates their language, with money-related terms expressing emotions... Don't believe me? Consider expressions like "I feel like a million dollars today" or "I feel like a million bucks." Both of these phrases mean they feel great! Furthermore, the saying "money talks" illustrates how money can wield influence over people, decisions, and even entire companies.

In American culture, money serves as a synonym for power and success. That's precisely why when you meet someone, after exchanging names, the second question people often ask is about your occupation. Not because they're inherently interested in your job, but rather because they're seeking a rough estimate of your income based on your position.

I was asked about my job in one tech meetup, and I said I was studying but I used to work as a social worker back home where I had a non profit, and she kept quiet for 2 minutes and then asked me without shame: how much money does a social worker makes?

Unfortunately success in the United States is often measured predominantly by one's financial wealth and job status. This narrow focus can lead to burnout, as well as the onset of depression and anxiety, especially when individuals face job layoffs, which can feel like the end of their world.

I've encountered numerous Americans during my travels in South America who had been laid off from long-term jobs. Their initial reaction was often one of deep despair, but as they start traveling, they came to realize just how much they had missed in terms of life experiences outside of work.

You see, I am originally from Colombia, and in my homeland, we hold a deep respect for a philosophy professor with a Ph.D. who may earn a modest salary while passionately teaching in a public university.

However, in the U.S., it often seems that immense admiration is directed towards individuals who may not possess significant knowledge but are celebrated solely due to their wealth, a prime example being the Kardashians.

This level of reverence is taken to the extent that people visit Los Angeles and pay for tours just to catch a glimpse of the homes belonging to these figures. It might sound like a comedy if you're not from America, doesn't it?

Now, there's one more amusing aspect I'd like to share with you. In many other cultures, discussing money at the dining table is considered somewhat tacky. But guess what? In America, engaging in conversations about money equates to having adult life discussions.

Initially, I found this rather exasperating. It seemed as though everyone had an incessant need to talk about money all the time. However, I came to realize that it's not entirely their fault. It's because they often lack other intriguing topics to discuss. There's a certain lack of depth, and when it comes to personal matters, they tend to be guarded. Having a conversation where they feel vulnerable is culturally perceived as a weakness, but that's a subject we might explore further in another article…

As a conclusion, I would like to finish this blog with 2 quotes I love:

"Tell me what you brag about, and I’ll tell you what you lack"

AND

“Bragging only means you are not use to having it”

Thanks for reading, and do not brag, it is tacky!!

Natalia Cortes, San Francisco 2020